I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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