she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
