dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
this hospital has no fireball
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
