I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
