I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
