Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
