im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
