i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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