i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
