I think scott just propositioned me for sex
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
