It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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