New invention idea: vibrating tampons
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
