oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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