So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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