Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
