I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
