It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
