Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
