we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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