I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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