Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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