Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
