What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
