I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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