your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
