Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
