We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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