Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
