ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Also, beer. Big fan.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
