forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
