I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
