you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
