He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
worst night to have a conscience
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
