just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
