He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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