i need an iv and a liver transplant
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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