She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
