Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I forget how to act sober
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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