Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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