oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
