party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
