Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
