I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
