True but thats because hes a fetus.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She needs sedatives and a leash
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
