my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
