He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
