puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
