No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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