scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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