Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
