I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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