u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
