i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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