I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
