i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
