And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
