I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So squirting runs in the family.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
