You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
