he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
