My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
